Have you ever dreamed of becoming a superstar?
Do you fantasize about a life in Japan?
What if I tell you that you can have both in one!
In this post I’ll tell you exactly what you need to do in order to be treated like a superstar in Japan!
It’s very simple and (almost) everyone can do it!
Are you ready for this super secret tip that I haven’t shared with anyone else yet? You’ll be the first to read this!
You better get a pencil and a notebook! I’m sure you want to take a few notes!
Here we go: *drumroll*
The secret revealed: How to be treated like a superstar in Japan
It’s actually very simple!
- You don’t need to attend an acting school!
- You don’t have to get plastic surgery!
- You don’t need any special talent.
- You don’t even have to look great!
All you need is ….. your DNA!
To be more precise, you need to be a foreigner in Japan!
Even better for you, if you’re a “Western looking” foreigner!
Yes, that’s all!
It’s as simple as that!
And I swear you’ll be treated like a superstar … at least every now and then!
You are beautiful / handsome:
Do you know how often I get to hear how beautiful I am?
How long my eyelashes are, how long my legs are, how long my nose is (* that is considered beautiful …).
“Well, maybe that’s because you are beautiful”, you say?
No, trust me. That’s not it!
I’ve seen the ugliest foreign men here and Japanese girls will all squeal and scream: “Handsome guy!”
Personally I don’t like being treated like that, so I usually just ignore or deny when they compliment me. But they won’t give up!
| Japanese: | “You are so tall!” |
| Me: | “But there are so many Japanese girls who are as tall as me!!” |
| Japanese: | “You are so beautiful!” |
| Me: | “I don’t think so! Look at all those beautiful Japanese girls!” |
| Japanese: | “Your nose is so long!” |
| Me: | “Do you want to make me cry?” |
| Japanese: | “Sunglasses look so cool on foreigners, but not on Japanese. It’s because foreigners have a long nose!” |
| Me: | “Ok, I give up ….”.gif) |
When my little brother came to visit, it got really bad. The two of us attracted so much attention it was insane! In every corner young girls and boys stopped, stared at us and I heard them whisper: “Bijin (*beauty)! Handsome!”
And trust me if I tell you that we are just completely NORMAL looking people!
Star status:
I know it’s not that we are considered to be stars, but several things Japanese do, make us foreigners feel like we are stars in Japan!
Just today I went to Starbucks and there was a young male cashier. He got really nervous and asked me weird questions! .gif)
Even the guy who handed over my coffee had shaky hands! What the hell is up with that?
Girls squeal and run away as if they just touched their favorite idol right after talking to a male foreigner!
A lot of people want to talk to you or even take photos together with you!
It’s THAT crazy at times!
And you know those situations when somebody should be penalized, but isn’t because of their “star status”?
That’s what sometimes happens with “gaijin” in Japan, too! You are not penalized, they’ll forgive you because you’re a “baka gaijin” (* a stupid foreigner) and you don’t / can’t know any better.
The truth about the foreign rockstar myth:
What I just mentioned in the previous paragraph has nothing to do with being treated like a star. In fact, most Japanese people just want to interact with you. Even nowadays foreigners are a rather rare sight, especially for those Japanese who live in the countryside. They want to talk, they want to know more about you and your country and they want to take a memory photo, so they can tell all their friends that they actually spoke to a foreigner.
In some sense that makes us little stars, I guess.
Unfortunately a lot of (especially young male) foreigners REALLY think they are rockstars here in Japan and try to exploit situations and people as much as they can, putting shame on us others!
Please don’t turn into one of those big-headed gaijin assholes!
Like it or hate it:
I’m sure … or maybe I should say I KNOW that a lot of foreigners might enjoy this kind of “star status”, especially young male foreigners. (*I’m sorry guys, I’m not trying to pick on you, I swear! Well, maybe a little …)
And I’m sure those of you who live in Japan have run into them occasionally. I hope you’re not one of them! .gif)
People who love being the center of attention might enjoy swimming in this sea of compliments.
For me, it’s rather annoying. I don’t want to be treated like that. It shows me that I’m different, that I’m an outsider.
Of course I love to hear compliments, but the sheer frequency and amount of compliments here in Japan is just overdoing it! I can’t take it seriously anymore and it annoys me.
Furthermore it can be hard not to become too full of yourself if everybody constantly tells you how “great” you are!
A word of warning:
Because foreigners are considered to be somewhat exotic, handsome, beautiful, cool or [enter whatever you can come up with] there are some Japanese who like to hang out with you.
However, that’s not because they truly want to be your friend! It’s because they want to show off with their new exotic “accessory”!
For you guys out there, it means that many of you might have it easy to get laid. Congratulations!
There are even Japanese who are considered to be “gaijin hunters“. Be aware!
I know this all sounds a bit harsh and hard to believe and certainly not all Japanese would treat you like that, but I want you to realize that this is something you might have to deal with when living in Japan! And it’s certainly not just my imagination. Other people have described the “Rockstar Syndrome” in Japan as well!
How about you?
Have you experienced such a treatment or does that sound completely off?
If you’ve never been to Japan, what do you think about it?
Would you love being treated (at least a little bit) like a star?
First, let me say that I do think you are pretty. If you were ugly, or even just ordinary, I don’t think you would get half the attention. You and your brother were probably a handsome couple.
I say sit back and enjoy it. It does no harm!
So, you are a foreigner. As such, you definitely stand out in the more out of the way places. A lot of people may not have had the occasion to interact with foreigners. I know I am noticed in a certain number of countries as a target for stealing or at least a rip off. In others you get pawed over.
Well, thank you very much! :happy:
Then maybe in your eyes I’m not the best example, but I swear that they do throw those “handsome” or “beautiful” phrases at almost ANY foreigner! At least in my experience.
That’s right. It certainly does no harm, but it can get annoying sometimes.
But it’s true that THIS kind of attention and treatment is MUCH better than what you describe!
That’s one thing I like about Japan! People run after me to give me back my empty PET bottle that I just lost or the item I just forgot. It’s great! :D
I admit I enjoy the attention a bit :) I like the wide-eyed look when I suddenly speak Japanese. The compliment I like best though is that I know more about Japan/am better traveled than most Japanese :)
Being a foreigner has a few benefits to a couple of draw-backs (one of them being that people are afraid to talk to you sometimes). Best thing that ever happened to me in that regard was getting a back-stage pass for a Hyde concert and then being invited to the after-party (which sounds way to raucous, it was basically food and drinks in a high-scale bar until the sun came up).
There were plenty of people outside the venue with signs that they wanted to buy tickets. I wasn’t even the only foreigner, there were a couple of girls way better looking that me around. I got told later that they liked me because I was standing there patiently, which was a very Japanese thing, and not jumping around and trying to get the attention of everyone coming in like the other foreigners.
Actually that’s another compliment that I like, acting very Japanese. It’s not like I really try, I definitely don’t act Japanese when it doesn’t suit me or I don’t agree with a given rule, but I do agree with some cultural mannerisms and brought them home with me. It’s a bit of the “act like you’d want people to act” thing, I guess.
Obviously I do get that compliment a lot, too! (^____^)b
And that’s a compliment I love to accept because it’s something I worked hard for to achieve!
It’s completely different if you hear the “You’re so beautiful!” phrase that they basically throw at ANY foreigner they meet. :(
I do admit that being a foreigner has its good sides as well.
I think I mentioned in the Shimabara post that I got a free tour guide and a free ride to Mt. Unzen.
The woman of the small tourist info just wouldn’t give in until I accepted her kind offer! ^__^;
A lot of people, even co-workers and friends have told me that I act very Japanese or that I’ve turned into a Japanese.
I don’t really mind when they say that, but I don’t know what to reply in that case.
It’s strange isn’t it? Because it’s not clear if it’s meant as compliment, a simple statement or worse. I do take it as compliment though, at least for my intercultural skills :)
And whenever someone compliments my Japanese I reply with “mada mada desu” which I got from Prince of Tennis :)
I don’t want to think about it too much and I want to take it as a compliment! ;)
I try to vary my response when they compliment me on my Japanese. As THEY always say the same things, I don’t want to answer with exactly the same phrase each time.
It just happened the other day again. Somebody asked me a question in Japanese and I just said: “Hai.” Promptly the other person almost freaked out: “OMG!!!!! You can speak Japanese!!”
Calm down … all I said was “hai”. It could have also meant that I didn’t understand a thing. No need to freak out like that. *lol*
> I do admit that being a foreigner has its good sides as well.
> I think I mentioned in the Shimabara post that I got a free tour guide and a free ride to Mt.
> Unzen.
Actually, while I completely understand that it is nice to profit from one’s gaijin status (and I also did so in the past), I think this is very much part of the problem. No Japanese would ever profit or get advantages like that. It is one manifestation of your status of being an outsider. And it reinforces that status. It’s nice on the short-term and from an individual perspective, but on the larger scale, this kind of treatment prohibits real integration into the Japanese society.
@Umij: I think it depends a lot on what is offered and how one accepts it. As I’m working in the tourism industry I want to make the trip as humanely possible for my customers. Only if they liked it will they tell others and hopefully bring more customers in. Of course there’s also such a thing as sympathy, I am certainly more willing to go the extra mile in customer service if I like the customer.
I want my customer to appreciate what I do as well though. If it’s taken as a given, then I don’t feel appreciated and I will probably think twice before going out of the way again.
While traveling I also, even if it’s really unlikely it will come to pass, offer to show them my city as well should they ever come here. If the service was really exceptional and over the top, I do like to send out a little something from my hometown to show how much I appreciated it.
It’s not all black and white.
I completely agree and understand. But the point is, it’s all about motivation. Do you go the extra mile just because someone has yellow skin color? Do you consider all Asian-looking persons to be tourists? In other words, would you expect Austrian tourists to follow the rules like everyone, but as soon as you see an Asian person flip out and get him all kinds of benefits just because he is foreign?
I am always happy if someone is nice to me, I’d also be happy to help out a tourist. But I don’t want to get a different, _even_ a better treatment, just because I am white, and thereby considered not to be a part of society.
It seems I’m unable to reply to to your reply. You’re right of course that where someone comes from or how someone looks should not factor into the decision if we go the extra mile. It does though. I don’t think any of us are immune when it comes to that. People in Japan dreaming of going to Europe (or in many cases having gone there and having loved it) are more likely to go the extra mile if they meet someone from Europe. Vice versa, if I get a Japanese customer I have the benefit of being able to talk Japanese, exchange food stories, etc., i.e. I’d be more willing to go the extra mile (not that I really have any of those as I cater to people traveling to Japan).
I think we all have “weak spots” like that. And of course the opposite, i.e. preconceptions because someone “looks like a thug” or comes from country “xyz”. Of course as educated people we are aware of these preconceptions and counteract them accordingly. Doesn’t change that they’re there though.
In my case it’s quite simple: You want to travel to Japan? I’ll carry you around on a golden plate. You want to travel to Greece? I’m sorry, but I can’t help you. I’m sure Greece is a wonderful country and you’ll have a fabulous time there, but try someone else please. That’s just me though. Someone else will probably gush with you about Greece. We’re all different and I don’t think it’s wrong to embrace our likes as long as we keep our dislikes in check. Does that make sense?
Well, the best strategy for long term residents here, against dudes with “Gaijin rockstar syndrome” (Yep, 99,9% are dudes….), is just to give a flying fuck. In Tokyo, i must see such ugly dip shits every day and i treat them like anybody else would treat them in their home countries: I push them out of my way!
Luckily I don’t get to see them every single day (who knows what I’d do!!!), but I run into them every now and then when traveling and they can be quite annoying! (T__T)
Next time I’ll send them to you, so you can “push them around” a bit! :D
Hi,
Firstly thanks for your blog, it’s pretty cool!
I am basically going to Japan next month for a month then will head south in a view to cross over to work my way up to Seoul from Busan, as I have a couple of friends I met in London who live there.
The first reason for me to go to these places is to get lost in a different world and get a taste of these different cultures/ foods/ fashions/etc. Now I must admit that meeting some girl(s) might be part of the trip as I am still young and single.
I am however curious about the ‘Gaijin rockstar syndrome’, as I guess the attention is nice (although annoying when excessively repetitive as you rightly said) but would like to behave like one. What do these foreigners do to be crossing you so much and be given that name?
Thanks for the info! :)
Thomas
Hi Toma!
I hope you’ll enjoy your time in Japan! ^^
It’s a little bit difficult to describe it, but I’ll try.
Some people just become very bigheaded. They think they’re the kings (or queens) of Japan and can do whatever they want (just like some real stars do). As they’re foreigners mistakes are easily forgiven because they “don’t know better” – and some of those people use that to their advantage. They’re using the “I’m the dumb gaijin” card a little bit too often.
But pride goes before a fall and many will notice this sooner or later.
A lot of them are like:
“Hey, look how cool and hot I am! All the J-gals are looking at me! Actually everybody in Japan is looking at me!
They all tell me how cool and handsome I am! They all love me! I’m like a little superstar here! I can have any girl I want immediately!
I can’t speak a word of Japanese, but that’s okay, because everybody else wants to get to know me, so they’ll try hard to communicate with me in English!
I can’t use chopsticks properly, but that’s okay, because the cutest J-gals will just feed me.”
Well, maybe I’m exaggerating a bit, but I hope you get what kind of people I was talking about.
Yes, thank god in Tokyo it is not so bad as if I visit the suburbs. But seriously, it makes everybody laugh every time when I say this. Japanese men like me more than women :).
Some women even try to ignore me. So funny! But if I show up with my really handsome sons hell breaks loose. I can even ask for a massage while waiting… just kidding!
I really should make a video of how they treat me when I show up and how it change with my sons show up.
At Yokohama swimming pool they would not even say good bye to me when I leave alone but they say it all the time to my sons and any other person … all women at the counter. I will make a video of this next time, I promise!
Well, I guess everyone likes it if they get attention.
I can imagine that!
Generally a larger group of foreigners always attracts more attention. I guess that also goes for a complete foreign family, especially with kids! *g*
I’ve never really had problems with Japanese women behaving like that.
Usually they’re all very nice, but Tokyo just might be different.
Or they know that I don’t stand a chance and I won’t take away any of their Japanese guys.
I’d love to see a video of that! (*___*)b
I’ve read about this ‘Rockstar-syndrome’ on a different blog before but that was quiet some time ago. I actually completely forgot about it until now :hihi:
I don’t have any experience with this since I have not yet been to Japan , but it’s interesting. I can imagine that this can get annoying very easily if you do not like attention or (possible) fake compliments.
Well, everybody deals differently with it. There are also those people who get too full of themselves and act accordingly.
And some people just don’t mind and just accept every compliment they get without thinking too much of it.
I’m looking forward to hearing about your adventures in Japan! :D
And those people usually act like they’re the king of world? I sure hope I won’t run into many of them… :hum:
I’d probably be really embarrassed if I got compliments like that. And after a while I would just smile nervously and accept the compliment , I guess :sweatdrop2:
I’m planning to blog about it , starting from day 1. Because I’ll surely make some mistakes and comments that might be funny/amusing for those who already live in Japan since a few years :hihi:
I always find these entries very interesting and insightful. (As you know) I’m Korean, and I’ve lived in the U.S. my entire life. This is my home, but I get comments that make me feel like a foreigner/outsider. It’s really annoying when people compliment me on my English (it’s such a backhanded compliment), or assume I’m Chinese, or think I’m this way or that way just because I’m Asian. I think there are differences between how non-Asian/non-Japanese people are perceived in Japan and how many people of color are perceived in the U.S., but I definitely read your entries and find myself nodding and sympathizing. :D
I’m glad that you enjoy my blog posts! ^___^
I think anybody who has ever lived in a foreign country or whose roots go back to a different country / nationality – like in your case – can at least partly understand what I’m trying to express.
There are certainly some countries where you’re treated really badly if you’re a foreigner. I think Japan is quite “harmless”, but yet there are some issues.
One of the biggest problems is that it’s still a very homogeneous community, so you’ll immediately stand out as a foreigner.
Luckily I don’t live in the countryside, but I get the compliments about my height, my small face, my tall nose and generally everything a lot. It does make a bit happy, because hey – it’s free compliments and I don’t even have to fish for them…
Apart from situations where I’m sure they have to make sure I speak Japanese (hospital) people aren’t that shocked to hear me speak Japanese, and when I walk around on a Sunday there are actually quite some foreigners living where I do, so maybe it’s getting more normal.
As for foreign guys – yeah, I had friends go all “HE’S SO HANDSOME! OMGOMGOMG!” and I just told them that they’re either normal or sub-standard in Europe… Luckily I haven’t run into too many guys who are using girls, most I work with are married with kids.
It really greatly depends on the person.
Some people compliment me after a few sentences. After we talk more and they notice how fast I speak in the local dialect, they often freak out, because they have rarely or never seen a foreigner capable of doing so. And then again there are people who freak out after just a mere “hai” or “arigato” – which is annoying.
Yes, same here. It seems it’s just the fact that they’re foreign that makes them handsome enough! *g*
Haha – your post made me laugh! It’s true, gaijin are often treated like superstars in Japan, and I’ll always be amazed when very ordinary (even perhaps slightly unattractive…) guys get beautiful girlfriends simply because she wants a foreign boyfriend. I know that’s a huge stereotype, but it’s often the case (and never works that way for foreign women and Japanese guys, I might add!).
I was cast in a TV commercial when I lived in Japan simply because I fit someone’s bill somewhere – I’ll never know to this day why they picked me of all people, but it was great fun to be involved and to get to act like a bit of a star for a while.
I do think it depends where in Japan you are though, as to how you’re treated. I’m sure if you lived in Tokyo you wouldn’t get as much attention for being a foreigner as there are so many more foreigners there compared to, say, somewhere in the countryside.
Hehe! (^__^’)
So true! Actually when I first came to Japan I started counting into how many couples I ran where the guy is foreign and the female is Japanese and also the opposite combination. It was frustrating to see that there were rarely any Japanese guys with a foreign / Western girlfriend.
Luckily I know a few foreign women who are married to Japanes guys, but they are yet the minority!
Wow, you were so lucky! ^___^ I bet it was a great experience! :)
That certainly has to do with it. I only ever lived in the countryside, but I want to add one thing: whenever I visit bigger cities I do expect to get less attention, but sometimes I feel the staring gets more and I have no freaking idea WHY!! It doesn’t make any sense.
Also, if you go to bigger cities or to main tourist attractions, Japanese people will naturally think you are a tourist and thus won’t be able to speak Japanese. They will NEVER expect that you live there!
If you run around in the countryside, especially if there are no tourist attractions nearby, people are more likely to expect you live there and also that you might be able to speak Japanese!
While people in bigger cities are used to seeing foreigners, they also are more likely to expect you to be just a tourist. ;)
There’s something that I call “the tissue test”. You can usually do it easily in bigger cities. If you get a tissue from the promoters than you act like you life here, if you don’t get one, then they think you’re a tourist. Of course the tissues have to be okay for women as some promote night clubs, so you won’t get any of these of course :)
Those “tissue people” are only in big cities, so I don’t run into them very often, but I usually try to make sure I get them, because who doesn’t want free tissues, right? ;)
And your head! It’s so small!
That one was missing, imho.
Oh, yes! I think Japanese people sometimes don’t realize that it can be taken as an insult.
Small head = small brain = stupid …
As a foreign woman I have gotten much attention… good and bad! One time a Japanese man tried to follow me home in his van like a stalker.. so be careful ladies!
I think men with “Rockstar Syndrome” are funny. They sleep with a few Japanese women and they think they’re God’s gift to women! :bleh:
Wow, that sounds scary indeed!
When that happened did you live in a big city or in the countryside?
Love reading this article. Although I may have sulked a little in the corner because I didn’t get this kind of ‘superstar’ before, I did notice how Japanese ‘adore’ foreigners.
Sure in a very touristy spot, it’s not obvious. But when you come to more rural places, I got all eyes set on me. Not adoring looks, just curious.. =P
It definitely depends just like you say.
A lot of foreign men who work as English teachers in regular schools probably know very well about this “superstar syndrome”.
Imagine all the girls squealing and all the guys going: “Kakkoiii~!” :hihi:
And from what I read, it was fun while it lasted, then it got boring and kinda annoying for them. Unless they’re players, that is.. They can keep going and hope to score more.. ;P
At first i want to give you a big compliment for this blog. I really like reading all the stories.
I’ve met my japanese wife 11 years ago in the US. We both studied english abroad. Since then i have been visiting Japan at least once a year. In the beginning it was for me like you explained. All of her friends wanted to meet me and even make some pictures. Also when i was travelling around by myself i’ve got such reactions. When i travelled with my wife that didn’t happened often, alltough i could feel the starring in the subways sometimes.
Now i don’t have this problems anymore. But it got even worse. We have 2 girls (6 and 3). The older one looks more swiss than japanese and she is the big star in Japan now. We can’t go anywhere without beeing asked for photos. The seller of the shops are screaming and wanna hug her. For me it is very annoying and i’m just not used to get such reactions. For sure the smaller one looks more japanese and there are people in switzerland which like her very much and so on. But the dimension is totally different then what happens in japan.
So whenever possible i let our kids go shopping with my mother in law, because she likes this attention a lot and she wanna show around her grandkids to everyone.
I will visit Japan again in october. Let’s see if i get another story to tell then.
Hi Tino!
Thanks so much for the nice compliment! :D
So you live in Switherland with your family and the “annoying times” where you and your kids are treated like superstars are limited to the times when you visit Japan?
I guess, then it’s kind of okay. I bet it’s not easy for a child to grow up like that in Japan. I’m sure it’s much better in Switzerland (or anywhere in Europe).
Thanks for sharing your experience with us.
Am looking forward to new stories you might be able to tell next time! ^_^
I’m glad someone finally wrote about this feeling, that pretty much every foreigner gets when they come to Japan. I’ve only been here 6 months now and everything you mentioned has pretty much happened to me and a lot of people I’ve met. It can be kind of strange sometimes though, as I live in the main part of Osaka where many foreigners are around so I don’t really know why I get reactions like I’m the only foreigner they’ve ever seen before. sometimes they ask dare ga? but that means ‘who’s that’ right? that always confused me.
Hi Jag!
Actually I noticed that (depending on the location) I get more stares in bigger cities than in the countryside. Still haven’t figured out why after 6 years of being here.
Are you sure they said “Dare ga …”? In what context? Are they asking you or people you are with?
Usually they would ask: “Dare desu ka?” or “Donata deshou ka?”
However, it makes no sense to ask you, but rather somebody who’s with you.
They usually would ask about your nationality, your name or something like that.
Though I am not American, I am also a Westerner (Mexican to be more precise).
Though I have never been to Japan, I am going to JP this July to visit my girlfriend who is Japanese.
I have met a few Japanese girls both online and one was a foreign exchange student, and in my experience, almost all of them found me handsome and told me kawaii various times or handsome too (I do not fit the stereotype of the ugly Westerner usually American or Northern European, but rather I have been told that I am handsome, dress stylish and well, fit in shape, and cultured. As far as physical features, well, I have dark hair, dark eyes, and predominantly Mediterranean facial features). I feel like famous or desired by these girls compared to American girls (I also tend to be popular with Arabic women as well as well as girls from my country) and even though I like the feeling, I never let it go over the top to the point of superiority.
On the other hand, here in the US where I go to university, the American girls do not even look at me nor are interested in me but rather almost all the time in other American men as I do not fit their ideal (compared to most foreign girls and girls in my country too which I have much more luck than here in this country), In a way similar to how Western women are rarely seen with Japanese men.
I also noticed that many Japanese girls like us South American/Latino men. Any Latinos or Southern European men here who have had Japanese girlfriends in here? If yes, how were they?
Cheers! Saludos!
What you describe is exactly what’s going on here in Japan every single day.
As a foreigner, especially as a Western foreign man, you’re almost treated like a superstar.
No matter if you’re ugly, “standard” or handsome – Japanese will throw “Kawaii!!”, “Kakkoii~!” or “Handsome!” at you all the time.
They also do that with foreign women. With time, you’ll learn to ignore it. It’s more like a “greeting” to me than anything else.
Don’t let it get too much to you.
I wouldn’t say that Japanese women are particularly into Latinos. I don’t know if there’s a group of Western foreign men that is more attractive to them than others.
From my experience – as long as you are a non-Asian male foreigner, then that’s enough.
I hope somebody can share their experience with you here.
Good luck when you come to Japan next year! ^____^
ahahah you are really funny :) this is so true. some of my guys friends became so much confident after their stays in Japan. But at least its positive. Some of them was soooo shy, and kind of never dated a woman. But thanks to his experience in Japan he became more positive and able to date women. How course it’s nice to be told that you are cute, but I think it’s quite crutial to keep in mind that it’s just because of “exotism”. No need to believe that you are a supermodel :p Japan is a funny country
Hey Alex,
Glad you can laugh about it. It sounds rather cute and funny – and it is.
At least as long as foreigners don’t take it too seriously or try to “misuse it”. ;P
It’s great if some people – like your friend – can become more confident through this experience. ^__^