However, be warned: If you want to read about bragging stories of all those Western guys who get laid a hundred times per day, then you came to the wrong place.
There are tons of blog posts like that out there. You certainly won’t find that here – and not from a foreign girl like me!

Before we start talking about “Dating in Japan” one thing should be crystal clear:

1. Dating is not the same for foreign women and men!

If you’ve ever been to Japan you might have noticed that there’s a tremendous number of (often not so handsome) foreign guys walking hand-in-hand with Japanese women. And at the same time there’s only a very tiny number of foreign (read: non-Asian) women with Japanese men next to them.

You might ask yourself why is that?
Maybe that’s a secret we’ll never quite get, but there are many theories!

A lot of Japanese women want a guy that tells them several times a day how much he loves them. For some reason (maybe through the consumption of too many Hollywood movies) Japanese women think that foreign men are like that! They’re not afraid of showing their feelings in public or telling their girls flat out how they feel about them.

Of course, having a foreign boyfriend is also “cool” and “exotic“. Some just use those poor guys as cute little “accessories“.
The extreme version of this is known as “gaijin hunter” and some will do everything for the sake of having one of those adorable “half”-kids (half Western, half Japanese) just to toss their foreign guy later on.

For foreign women it’s a completely different story.
Japanese men seem to expect certain things from a woman. Things that they fear a foreign woman would not agree to do (e.g. stay home, take care of the kids, always pour new alcohol into his empty glass etc.).
Maybe they also think that a foreign woman might expect from their man that he’s telling his feelings straight out several times a day, something a shy Japanese man just won’t do.

Another problem is that many of the Japanese men seem to be afraid of their English ability and thus fail to approach a foreign woman.
Most foreign men on the other hand, have no issues approaching a Japanese woman in English – or even in broken Japanese.

These are just a few theories by friends, co-workers and myself. I’m sure you have your own and there’s much more behind all this, but that’s it for starters, I guess.

2. Dating in Japan as a foreign man:

As a result, dating in Japan is usually quite easy for men.
At least getting one woman after another into your bed, is really easy, even if you’re quite ugly!
For some reason Japanese women seem to find even ugly foreign guys attractive …..

It might be a bit more difficult if you’re looking for a serious relationship as there are those women I mentioned earlier who either want you as “exotic accessory” or just want your DNA to create a cute “half-child”.

All in all, it is comparably easy for a Western foreign man to find a Japanese woman or to have a nice relationship here in Japan.
For some guys it really gets to their heads and they start bragging about it like crazy as part of the superstar syndrome.

3. Dating in Japan as a foreign woman:

The complete opposite is the case for (Western) foreign women in Japan.
Japanese guys are often too shy, scared or whatever and the majority of Western men is only interested in Japanese / Asian women.
As a result it is extremely tough to find a date as a foreign woman here in Japan.

It is by far not impossible and I know quite a few girls who don’t only have a Japanese boyfriend, but are also married to a Japanese man, but it is still the BIG exception!

Some of us will go through a hard time here in Japan.
You’ll start to feel completely unattractive and ignored at times.
Of course, you get a lot of attention and there’s all this staring, but it’s not because anybody is flirting with you … or at least you don’t know the difference anymore.

It might be a different story in bigger cities such as Tokyo and Osaka with a more international community, but in smaller cities and in the countryside with more traditional ideals it can be very difficult for foreign women.

4. Differences in relationships:

I personally know a few couples where either the man or the woman is foreign and I noticed quite a lot of differences in the kind of relationship they have.

Please note that the following is based on my personal experience and that not everybody out there is like that.

Foreign man, Japanese woman:

In relationships where the man is foreign I noticed that they mostly speak his native language. Although they live in Japan and sometimes even have children together who also speak Japanese, the foreign guys don’t / can’t speak Japanese.

I also experienced that they’re unable to do anything on their own. When I ask them about how they got their cellphone or credit card they just answer they don’t know because their wife did it for them.
Consequently they don’t see the need to study Japanese, because their wives will take care of it all.

One big problem seems to be the fact that in Japan the man earns the money, but the woman takes care of it! The man only gets a small allowance every week or month and needs to ask his wife for permission if he wants to spend any more of his own hard-earned money! Foreign guys often seem to struggle with this system.

Because of  all that I’ve seen couples who got divorced, even when there were kids involved. I noticed that those kind of relationships seem to work out better if they live in his home country and not in Japan.

Foreign woman, Japanese man:

For the opposite constellation you’ll see that in most(!) cases the woman speaks Japanese. She has studied Japanese properly or puts in a lot of effort to improve her Japanese ability even if the Japanese man can speak her native tongue.

They know how to survive in Japan even without the help of their husband / boyfriend who is at work most of the time anyways.

The man seems to accept that she wants to keep working even after marriage. Most of the time those kind of Japanese men who get into a relationship with a foreign woman are more open-minded and have some experience with foreign culture because either they’ve lived or studied abroad for a while. And even those who haven’t seem to accept that there are cultural differences and they don’t expect the same they would from a Japanese woman.

All the couples I know of have a relatively harmonic relationship. Of course, there are enough reasons for disputes, but all in all they seem to manage better than couples where the man is foreign.

5. Conclusion: Dating in Japan

There’s so much more that could be said about this topic and I’d love to discuss it with you some more.
I’m sure everyone has their own opinion and experience with this!

All I want you to keep in mind is that as a guy you should not let it get to your head because suddenly you get all this attention from beautiful women.
And as a foreign girl you should keep in mind that your time in Japan – at least in terms of romantic relationships – could be quite lonely at times.

The post The Shocking Truth About Dating in Japan as a Foreigner appeared first on Zooming Japan.

What if I tell you that you can have both in one!
In this post I’ll tell you exactly what you need to do in order to be treated like a superstar in Japan!
It’s very simple and (almost) everyone can do it!
Are you ready for this super secret tip that I haven’t shared with anyone else yet? You’ll be the first to read this!
You better get a pencil and a notebook! I’m sure you want to take a few notes!

Here we go: *drumroll*

The secret revealed: How to be treated like a superstar in Japan

It’s actually very simple!

• You don’t need to attend an acting school!
• You don’t have to get plastic surgery!
• You don’t need any special talent.
• You don’t even have to look great!

All you need is ….. your DNA!
To be more precise, you need to be a foreigner in Japan!
Even better for you, if you’re a “Western looking” foreigner!

Yes, that’s all!
It’s as simple as that!
And I swear you’ll be treated like a superstar … at least every now and then!

You are beautiful / handsome:

Do you know how often I get to hear how beautiful I am?
How long my eyelashes are, how long my legs are, how long my nose is (* that is considered beautiful …).

“Well, maybe that’s because you are beautiful”, you say?

No, trust me. That’s not it!

I’ve seen the ugliest foreign men here and Japanese girls will all squeal and scream: “Handsome guy!”

Personally I don’t like being treated like that, so I usually just ignore or deny when they compliment me. But they won’t give up!

Japanese:	“You are so tall!”
Me:	“But there are so many Japanese girls who are as tall as me!!”
Japanese:	“You are so beautiful!”
Me:	“I don’t think so! Look at all those beautiful Japanese girls!”
Japanese:	“Your nose is so long!”
Me:	“Do you want to make me cry?”
Japanese:	“Sunglasses look so cool on foreigners, but not on Japanese. It’s because foreigners have a long nose!”
Me:	“Ok, I give up ….”

When my little brother came to visit, it got really bad. The two of us attracted so much attention it was insane! In every corner young girls and boys stopped, stared at us and I heard them whisper: “Bijin (*gorgeous)! Handsome!”

And trust me if I tell you that we are just completely NORMAL looking people!

Star status:

I know it’s not that we are considered to be stars, but several things Japanese do, make us foreigners feel like we are stars in Japan!

Just today I went to Starbucks and there was a young male cashier. He got really nervous and asked me weird questions!
Even the guy who handed over my coffee had shaky hands! What the hell is up with that?

Girls squeal and run away as if they just touched their favorite idol right after talking to a male foreigner!

A lot of people want to talk to you or even take photos together with you!

It’s THAT crazy at times!

And you know those situations when somebody should be penalized, but isn’t because of their “star status”?
That’s what sometimes happens with “gaijin” in Japan, too! You are not penalized, they’ll forgive you because you’re a “baka gaijin” (* a stupid foreigner) and you don’t / can’t know any better.

The truth about the foreign rockstar myth:

What I just mentioned in the previous paragraph has nothing to do with being treated like a star. In fact, most Japanese people just want to interact with you. Even nowadays foreigners are a rather rare sight, especially for those Japanese who live in the countryside. They want to talk, they want to know more about you and your country and they want to take a memory photo, so they can tell all their friends that they actually spoke to a foreigner.

In some sense that makes us little stars, I guess.

Unfortunately a lot of (especially young male) foreigners REALLY think they are rockstars here in Japan and try to exploit situations and people as much as they can, putting shame on us others!

Please don’t turn into one of those big-headed gaijin assholes!

Like it or hate it:

I’m sure … or maybe I should say I KNOW that a lot of foreigners might enjoy this kind of “star status”, especially young male foreigners. (*I’m sorry guys, I’m not trying to pick on you, I swear! Well, maybe a little …)
And I’m sure those of you who live in Japan have run into them occasionally. I hope you’re not one of them!

People who love being the center of attention might enjoy swimming in this sea of compliments.
For me, it’s rather annoying. I don’t want to be treated like that. It shows me that I’m different, that I’m an outsider.

Of course I love to hear compliments, but the sheer frequency and amount of compliments here in Japan is just overdoing it! I can’t take it seriously anymore and it annoys me.

Furthermore it can be hard not to become too full of yourself if everybody constantly tells you how “great” you are!

A word of warning:

Because foreigners are considered to be somewhat exotic, handsome, beautiful, cool or [enter whatever you can come up with] there are some Japanese who like to hang out with you.
However, that’s not because they truly want to be your friend! It’s because they want to show off with their new exotic “accessory”!

For you guys out there, it means that many of you might have it easy to get laid. Congratulations!

There are even Japanese who are considered to be “gaijin hunters“. Be aware!

I know this all sounds a bit harsh and hard to believe and certainly not all Japanese would treat you like that, but I want you to realize that this is something you might have to deal with when living in Japan! And it’s certainly not just my imagination. Other people have described the “Rockstar Syndrome” in Japan as well!

How about you?
Have you experienced such a treatment or does that sound completely off?
If you’ve never been to Japan, what do you think about it?
Would you love being treated (at least a little bit) like a star?

The post The Secret Revealed: How to be treated like a superstar in Japan appeared first on Zooming Japan.

All of that happens because you are something exotic, you are the unknown, you are a phenomenon that just appears out of nowhere and then disappears just as fast as it came.

But what if you don’t?
What if you stay in the land of the rising sun and continue to be this “exotic, mystical” person called “gaijin” (外人, outsider)?

It’s okay. After a few years people will recognize you.
After all you’ve been in Japan for a very long time. You speak Japanese fluently, you know Japanese etiquette and how to use chopsticks.
You might have even married a Japanese citizen, drive a Japanese car and work in a Japanese company.
You live a normal life – not much different from any Japanese person! Right???

WRONG!!!!

 Disclaimer: The following is written based on my own experience.

ABOUT BEING AN OUTSIDER IN JAPAN – FOREVER!

1. “Hello I live in Japan”:

I’ve been in Japan for many years now. I speak decent Japanese.
I have no difficulties traveling through Japan all by myself. I can handle Japanese hospitals without any problem. Japan has become my (second) home.

And yet the Japanese people around me remind me every single day, that it’s NOT my home. At least not in their eyes!
First of all there’s all this staring that clearly shows me that I’m different, that I’m an outsider.
I still get compliments for how well I speak Japanese although for me it’s just normal that I can speak it – now that Japan is my home and I’ve been here for so many years.

I run into random people when traveling and usually there’s some small talk involved.
Often conversations go like this:

Yes, conversations are not always going like that and I have to admit that I answer like that on purpose!
But if they ask me where I came from (lit.: どこから来ましたか, “Doko kara kimashita ka?”), then I naturally answer where I live in Japan and not where I was born!
If somebody asks you this question, you would usually tell them in which city you currently live and not where you were born unless they explicitly ask for it, right?

2. “I was born in Japan”

Sometimes I stretch the conversation above a bit just to see how they react:

To be honest, even after saying it, some just pretend they didn’t hear what I just said.
Or they say I don’t look like a “hafu” (ハーフ, that’s how they call people who are half Japanese and half foreign).
And when I tell them that both of my parents are foreign, it seems like their brain is about to explode.

Of course I’m totally making this story up, BUT:
One of my previous co-workers is exactly like that! Her parents are from America, came to teach English at a university in Japan and just stayed for good.
She was born and raised here in Japan. Obviously she doesn’t look Japanese AT ALL!
However, inside she’s Japanese through and through. My former co-worker is fluent in Japanese as she went to a Japanese kindergarten, school and you name it!

How do you think people like her feel when they have a similar conversation like the one above?

3. “When are you going back home?”

This is just another question a lot of foreigners – including me – often have to face.
Japanese people don’t expect that you’ll stay in Japan forever.
They see you as a short-term visitor – even if you tell them that you’ve been in Japan for several years!

Again, imagine my previous co-worker! What do you mean by “going back home”???!!! Japan is her home!

4. “Keep the outsiders out!”

Japan is the perfect country to keep the outsiders out. After all it’s an isolated island!

Apart from its geographical feature there are some other things that “help” with the great endeavor to keep the outsiders out!
There are still some establishments with signs saying: “No foreigners!”
Foreigners are not allowed to vote. It’s almost impossible to obtain Japanese citizenship!
Japan also doesn’t allow dual citizenship, so if you’re a “hafu” you’ll have to choose eventually.
And if neither of your parents is Japanese, then you can’t be a Japanese citizen – even if you were born in Japan.
Home, sweet home!

5. How foreigners might feel about it:

When my family came to visit me in Japan, it was very interesting to see how they were happily answering questions and were glad that Japanese people approached them asking where they were from.
After a week they were so annoyed, so I asked them: “Can you imagine how annoying it must be when this happens to you almost every single day?”
Of course, they nodded.

How about you?

Have you been in a similar situation? How do you feel about it?
Can you imagine that it can be difficult to be seen as “the outsider” for almost all of your life when living in Japan?
Please share your opinion and / or experience!

The post A German Alien in Japan: Outsider appeared first on Zooming Japan.

There are so many things I want to share with you, but I should have started writing about them right after I came to Japan.
Why? Because after a few years most things seem so normal to you although they felt so strange in the beginning.
If you’ve gotten used to things, you usually forget about them. They become routine and you certainly don’t write about them in your blog.

One thing that is always present and that most people living in Japan won’t be able to get used to is THE STARING IN JAPAN! [/ insert horror background music]

I know that a lot of you are worried about how you will be seen or treated as a foreigner in Japan.
I’m sure you’ve heard a lot, but you shouldn’t trust everything you hear and just experience things yourself!

Of course it’s a good thing to get some information prior to coming, but always keep in mind that things are never 100% accurate and your own experience might be completely different!

Staring in Japan is everywhere:

If you come to Japan just know that you WILL be stared at if you don’t look Japanese.
How intense, how often, how many people will stare .. all that depends on various things.

I expected to be stared at when I first went to Japan as a tourist, because that’s what I heard anyways: “Japanese people stare at foreigners.”
At that time I went to major tourist spots such as Tokyo and Kyoto.
YES, people stared, but not as much as I expected them to. I was almost disappointed. *g*

However, if you live in Japan for a certain time – NO MATTER WHERE YOU LIVE – you will experience a certain degree of staring.
Usually at the major tourist spots they’re used to seeing a lot of foreigners, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that there will be less staring.

I have always only lived in the Japanese countryside where there aren’t many foreigners, so there is some staring going on – EVERY SINGLE DAY!
When I go to a bigger city, I usually expect to get less staring than back home, because … it’s a BIG city, lots of FOREIGNERS, right?!
Interestingly there’s often even more staring going on there!

Who will be stared at:

Personally I hate being the center of attention, so I try not to stand out.

In Japan I stand out no matter what I do … just because I look different.
And in my case I don’t even look THAT different, I’d say! I’m not that tall, I have dark brown hair and dark eyes.
From behind people have confused me with a Japanese person.
But it’s my Western face that seems to not blend in at all.

I can understand that people are staring when there is a super tall or big person. They literally stand out in a crowd of Japanese people.
Or if there’s a tall, blonde and blue-eyed foreigner.
Even I stared when there were two blue-eyed, blonde and apparently foreign children speaking Japanese fluently with their foreign mom on a train.

That’s something you don’t see every day!

Foreigners have become quite a common sight, at least in bigger Japanese cities and yet there’s all this staring!
As long as you don’t look Japanese they will stare. [/ can I have the horror background music one more time?]

Another thing I noticed is: there might be less staring when you’re alone.
Simply because one foreigner doesn’t stick out as much.
You’re aware of the staring a lot more if you’re alone, though.
If you are with a group of foreigners, you’re usually busy talking to them and you don’t notice so much what’s happening around you, but there is in fact more staring going on.

The Daily Stare:

If you have to deal with staring in Japan every single day for many years it can get very exhausting.

You can never really relax, because you know some people are watching every single step, every single movement.
You can’t even sleep in peace on the train without being stared at.

I’m sorry to tell you that, but you can’t avoid the staring in Japan!
Most Japanese people will look away the second you look at them (whereas Chinese people often keep staring).

While what I just mentioned might be true for adults, it’s a whole different story for kids!
Children can be very persistent and annoying when it comes to staring.
Kids stare at me every single day. And a glimpse is not enough! They want MOAR! Even when they pass by their head turns in my direction so that they can keep an eye on me.

Speaking of Japanese children and staring there’s just one story out of many I’m going to share with you for now:
I was sitting in a Starbucks and there was this little girl with her family right next to me.
The little girl turned over and had her face only a few centimeters away from mine.
She kept staring and staring … I couldn’t enjoy my coffee at all.
I was waiting for her mom to say something, but despite being well aware of the situation, she didn’t do anything!

Eventually I asked the girl in Japanese if there was anything strange in my face.
A “normal” young girl would have probably turned away immediately, but this girl just shook her head and kept staring.
IT WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ANNOYING!
I tried to turn away from her as much as possible, finished my coffee very quickly and left.
Yes, there ARE days like that!

But things could be worse. After all staring is pretty harmless, right? It’s annoying, you might feel uncomfortable, but it doesn’t really do anything to you.

What if it’s not just staring, though?
I had kids point at me, screaming: GAIJIIIIN!!! (Foreigner!!!!!!)
Of course, everybody else immediately turned over to “look” at me.
I was thinking about just pointing back, screaming: NIHONJIIIIN!!! (Japanese!!!!)

In this situation as well the mother didn’t do anything about it.
Usually a mother would say: “Stop that! You can’t just point at people!”
I think that’s ONE reason why Japanese people stare so much. They weren’t taught that it’s a bad or rude thing to do.
If you ask a Japanese person about it, you often get the answer: “I thought foreigners are ok with it. It’s normal in foreign countries to stare at people, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, sure. Just like the flying pink elephants here in Japan …”

Sometimes the staring is accompanied by random comments. Luckily I mostly get nice ones, but to me it’s still annoying most of the time:
“Beautiful!”
“So tall!” (I’m only about 173cm and I never wear heels!)
“Look, a foreigner!” (“Look! A three headed monkey!!” …)

People often tend to suddenly speak English or change the topic to something about America (because they think you are American) when they see you.
This goes far beyond today’s “staring topic”, so I’ll do a separate post for that at some point.

How to deal with staring in Japan:

Well, there are people who mind and people who don’t mind.
It might even depend on your mood on that specific day.
Even I have days where I just HATE being permanently stared at and then I have days when I barely notice it or just don’t care.

If you don’t mind being stared at at all then congratulations! Tell me your secret!

I have no idea about good ways to deal with “The Daily Stare“, but here are some ideas you might (NOT) want to try:

You can stare back.
You can just say something. Anything is fine.

“Is there something funny in my face?”
“Are you in love with me?”
“Have you never seen an alien before?” (“Michael Jackson was one, too!!”)
“I know I look like George Clooney, but in fact I’m a woman!”
“Could you just stop staring at me? Please?? PLEASE!!!!”

You can cover your face, start crying, start screaming or just make funny faces!

Photo Credit: Arni Kristjansson

Or you can get this awesome book cover for free!
The title of the book translates to: “Why do Japanese stare at foreigners?”
I’d love to get it just to see what would happen! *g*
Obviously that only works when you’re in a train or sitting in a café, not when you’re walking through streets or in a department store.

 
Now it’s your turn! Please share your experience!

How do you deal with the staring in Japan?
What’s your weirdest experience?
Do you have the ultimate technique to stop staring?
Do you even mind when people stare at you?

Thanks so much for reading!

The post A German Alien in Japan – Staring appeared first on Zooming Japan.

While everybody has their very unique experiences, if you comb through them you’ll see a certain pattern! Everybody is going through the same things here, maybe slightly different, but over all still the same!

Today I want to talk about another annoying “phenomenon” that will hit you sooner or later:

“Wow! Your Japanese is so good!!!”

Be honest! Who of you hasn’t heard this sentence at least once yet?
Funny enough you get to hear it after only a few words of speaking Japanese like “arigato” (ありがとう, thank you) or “konichiwa” (こんにちは, hello).

When you’re a tourist and you’ve just started to study Japanese you might probably be happy about such compliments!
You might think it’s strange that they throw it at you after just a few seconds, but maybe you’re just that awesome?

However, after living in Japan for a while and after getting the very same reaction after just a few words of Japanese – it gets annoying. VERY ANNOYING!

Imagine your Japanese is advanced.
Would you feel good about a “Wow, your Japanese is awesome!” after only a few words?

Japanese people don’t mean any harm!

They just don’t expect foreigners, especially Non-Asian foreigners, to be able to speak the language (well).

Furthermore, they expect you to just be a short-term visitor / tourist.
Tourists usually don’t study the language of the country they visit. It’s normal to expect that they don’t know more than a few phrases!

A lot of Japanese people also have the “weird” idea that Japanese is the most difficult language in the world and that others will never be able to learn it (properly).

Some might also react that way because of their previous experience with foreigners.
I hate to say this, but unfortunately there are SO MANY long-term residents in the foreign community who can’t speak more than basic Japanese – if at all.
Many of them are married to a Japanese citizen, might even have kids with whom they can’t communicate properly.
It’s sad. They make me angry, but that’s another story!

Maybe now you can understand the reaction of Japanese people to your “oh, so awesome Japanese“?

It doesn’t change the fact that it’s annoying.
Japanese need to realize that their language is not THAT difficult and that some foreigners are very well able to speak the language fluently.

My personal experience:

When I visited Japan as a tourist and also during my first few months in Japan, I also was complimented a lot after just a few words.
However, as time passed and my Japanese skills improved, I didn’t give them a chance to do so anymore.
Especially when traveling I tend to just approach people to ask for the way or ask a lot of questions at once in a tourist information center, for example. I can see the surprise in their faces.

After talking with me for quite a while they usually compliment me on my Japanese, my pronunciation and then ALWAYS ask the following:

• if I’m an exchange student
• for how long I’ve been in Japan

When they hear that I’ve been here for “only” a few years, they continue complimenting me:
“Wow, you managed to get that good in just a few years?! Unbelievable!”
That displays very well their mindset and how they see foreigners.

I often read in Japanese Learning forums that the compliments will get less the more advanced your Japanese becomes.
Honestly, from my personal experience I don’t think this is true!
It doesn’t depend on your Japanese skills, but on your Japanese counterpart!

But, you know, it also has its good points that Japanese don’t expect you to be able to understand / speak Japanese!!

1.) NHK and other annoying people randomly ring your doorbell:

NHK (Nippon Housou Kyoukai, 日本放送協会) is Japan’s public broadcasting organization. You’re supposed to pay a fee to them if you have a TV (no matter if you actually watch TV or not).
For my German readers: It’s like the GEZ!
Legally they can’t do more than just asking, but they can be VERY annoying!
However, as a foreigner it’s really easy! Just stare at them and pretend you don’t understand a thing!
Some will give up at that point.
Others will try to use very bad English: “You, TV?”
At that point, I just tell them in German(!) that I don’t understand a word they say. *g*
Usually that scares them away – and I never see them again!

My recommendation: I heard many stories of people answering the door in perfect Japanese until they figured it’s NHK!
My tip is to always just stare and let them talk for a while until you know who they are and what they want from you and then you can still decide whether you’re suddenly able to understand Japanese or not. Works like a charm! *g*

2.) Other people are talking about you:

As a foreigner you’ll be stared at. Anywhere, anytime!
However, some people don’t just stare, they also talk about you! Even if you don’t understand Japanese you might get that they’re talking about you from their gestures.

If you understand what they’re saying, it can be amusing, but also get quite annoying. It doesn’t have to be anything bad, just the fact that they’re right next to you and dare to talk about you!

It’s up to you how you react in that situation.
I had a few times when I snapped and said something. It was only in situations when I thought that it was getting ridiculous.
You can always just turn to them and say: “Ano, kikoemasu ga.” (Uhm, I can hear you, you know?! あの、聞こえますが。)
Personally I wouldn’t say “I can understand you” – with that you’d just agree that USUALLY foreigners can’t understand Japanese.
That’s just my opinion …

3.) Pretend to be the “baka gaijin”:

There are many situations when you can play the “gaijin card”. People will forgive you because you are a foreigner and don’t know any better.
They don’t expect you to understand the culture and the language. In some situations it can help you (see #1 above), in others it’s annoying!
I will talk about those situations in the future, so stay tuned.

What’s your experience with all this?
Have you been told that your Japanese is great? How did you react?
What do you think about all this?

The post A German Alien in Japan – Wow, your Japanese is so good! appeared first on Zooming Japan.

Being a foreigner in Japan has its good and its bad points and I’m sure everyone who has lived in Japan for several years like me has their own experiences and strange encounters.
I always joke about it, but actually it’s the truth: By now I could write a book about all those experiences.
Instead I decided to share my experiences as a foreigner in Japan with you in this new blog series.

PURPOSE:

I think and hope that this will be an interesting series for anybody.
For people who live or used to live in Japan, for example. I also love to read about other people’s experiences concerning life as a foreigner.
I’m going to share some of their sugar cream with you soon, too!

I also think it’s important to know for people who intend to come and live in Japan for however long!

As a tourist, it’s maybe not necessary, but sometimes it will help you understand certain situations better and deal with them accordingly.

TOURISTS IN JAPAN:

When I first came to Japan in 2007, it was as a short-term tourist.
Of course I read stories about a few things concerning Japan and so I felt prepared.
One thing was that they’d stare at you like WOAH, but at that time I didn’t recognize it at all.
I was almost disappointed at the lack of staring.
Yes, they did stare, but not much.

Why is your experience as tourist often so much different from people who actually live in Japan?
Well, there might be many reasons, but I think it’s because most of you (esp. for your first visit) choose the major tourist spots such as Tokyo or Kyoto.
Naturally there are a LOT of foreign visitors and Japanese people there are used to seeing foreigners. They even expect foreigners to be there.
Thus, there will be much less staring.
Then, if you’re like me, you’ll be so fascinated and in a dream world and stare at all the awesome things around that you always wanted to see and now they’re RIGHT in front of you that you just won’t notice people staring at you.

Generally you’ll experience Japan in a different way as a tourist. It’s not only the staring! It’s EVERYTHING!
Let’s face the truth, most tourists who come to Japan speak no Japanese or very little. And that’s okay, because they’re just visitors.
Japanese people know that, of course, and try hard (or sometimes just avoid you because they have no confidence in their language skills) to communicate with you in English.
As long as you are a non-Asian foreigner, they will think that you can speak English ONLY. They won’t ever expect you to be able to speak Japanese.

However, that’s okay. You are just a tourist!
If you answer in broken Japanese, they will be super happy and won’t ever stop to praise your “awesome” Japanese.
After a simple “arigato” they’ll enthusiastically shout out a loud “Sugoi! Nihongo jouzu!” (Wow! You’re Japanese is sooo good!!”)
And you might be smiling and happy like a little child.

FOREIGNERS IN JAPAN:

Ok, so now imagine you are a foreigner living in Japan! Imagine you’ve been here for many years and you speak Japanese (almost) fluently.
Imagine Japan has become your second home. You have a car, an apartment, health insurance, you pay taxes, buy your food in the supermarket just like everybody else. You separate your garbage properly and bring it out in the early morning.
You’re NOT different from anybody else living here ………………… you’d think!
But you still are a foreigner! And being a non-Asian foreigner, everybody can tell IMMEDIATELY that you are NOT Japanese.
Even worse if you are TALL, you stand out even more. Maybe you’re even black or you have blonde hair and blue eyes? Oh Jeez! There we go!

To the Japanese you’re just that, a foreigner.
And in their mind at least all Western-looking foreigners have to be from America and thus speak English, but surely no Japanese.
Most of the time, they will treat you exactly like those tourists.
After a simple “arigato”, they’ll scream in joy and praise how great your Japanese is. And you, you get annoyed.
They will clap their hands when they notice that you can use chopsticks or like to eat natto or goya.

Conversations will most likely start like this:
Random Japanese person: “Haro, whea aru u furomu? (*Hello, where are you from?) American, yes!!?”

Now, it’s all up to you how you react to that. I don’t know how or what other people answer.
Most of the time the foreigner actually WILL be American or at least form an English-speaking country, so the Japanese have their point in expecting that. It’s simple mathematics, statistics.
However, in my case it’s different!
I AM GERMAN!

I never cared much about my nationality AT ALL before I came to Japan. I might be writing more on this some other time.
However, being expected to be American annoys me for some reason. No offense to American people, it has NOTHING to do with me not liking American people or anything. It’s just being thrown into a pot I don’t belong to. Do you get what I mean?

Usually I answer that kind of “question” in Japanese.
Whenever somebody approaches me in English I either don’t react at all, esp. when they shout something from behind (I mean how should I know they’re talking to me, right? Just because they’re using English? So what?) or I answer in Japanese!
The kind of faces you get to see, shocked, amazed, perplex etc. are all worth it, but I’m not doing it for the faces.

I live in Japan. It’s just normal to study the language of the country you live in, right? Especially if you want to stay for a certain time or maybe forever. Well, for me studying the language was ONE reason why I came to Japan in the first place. I’ve never been in Japan without at least knowing some basic words and phrases anyways.
And then I also don’t understand why we should communicate in English when this is Japan and I live here and they live here and English is neither their nor mine mother tongue. It just doesn’t make sense at all!
So usually – outside of work – I don’t use English at all!
And it works well because their English level is usually very low and my Japanese – while far from being perfect – is always good enough.

Some foreigners ruin it for the rest of us!

I don’t understand those people who have been here for much longer than me but only speak basic Japanese if at all.
Many of those people are married or have at least a Japanese partner and plan to stay long-term.
Why don’t these people have any motivation to study the language of the country they decided to stay for possibly the rest of their lives?
I know some of those people very well. Some of them can’t even communicate with their own kids because the kids speak Japanese much better than the other language (whatever it is).
And it’s not only the language. I experienced it every day, with my previous co-workers for example.
Whenever I asked them something (e.g. where to get a credit card from, how to do this and that) – because I thought they’d been here longer than me, so they should know it (right?!), they just said that they have no idea because their partner did all of that for them.

Now, I tried to avoid using gender specific words in the last paragraph, but to be honest 90% of those people ARE men. Foreign men. Foreign lazy men.
I know they’re busy. They have a family and their work, but they’re in Japan and it’s really EASY to get LOADS of input and improve their Japanese – at least orally (not talking about studying kanji).
They have a Japanese wife at home. They have a perfect setting for studying and progressing fast, but they prefer to use English with their wives because “it’s easier” … yeah, easier for them!!!!!

Japanese don’t always have a “good image” of us foreigners.
For example, we stink, we are dangerous, we keep a gun or a knife with us all the time, we cannot eat with chopsticks, do not like Japanese food (esp. natto, raw fish, anko, senbei etc.), are loud, rude, tall and because we don’t know and understand the Japanese culture we have no common sense. Furthermore, our brains are inferior to the Japanese ones which is why it’s impossible for us to ever master their language.

That’s why – depending on your outer appearance, of course – people might change to the other side of the road, won’t sit next to you in the train – even stand up when you sit next to them – and why life in general can be really difficult for us sometimes.
By difficult I mean that apartments are more often than not, not rented to foreigners. Most of the time it will be the company you work for that has to rent it.
Why? Well, because foreigners are loud, will have loud parties every night, won’t know how to separate the garbage properly, and and and …

It can be very difficult to get a proper credit card in Japan – even for people who have been here for more than 10 years.
There are restaurants, hotels and other establishments that won’t let foreign people in.
You’re not allowed to vote in political elections. In 99% of all cases it’s impossible for you to get the Japanese citizenship / a Japanese passport even when you were BORN in Japan (but neither of your parents is Japanese).
I could go on for much longer ……

Why do they have such a bad image, you ask?
Well, unfortunately there are quite a few “bad” foreigners out there. I don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings, I’m simply writing about my experience here, ok?!
Most of the time it’s young foreign guys who have barely finished university yet (mostly from America, Australia, Canada, the UK or NZ) who come to Japan to “have the time of their life”. It’s like a loooooooooong vacation for them.
They have parties, play video games and whatnot every night. They don’t care about the garbage at all, too annoying anyways, so they just throw everything in one bag and that’s that.
They sit in the train and scream their conversations while having 2 or 3 cans of beer.
They’re visiting a historical property site with signs EVERYWHERE in many languages and cute pictures so that the most stupid person should understand that it’s NOT ALLOWED TO SMOKE and what are they doing??? Exactly ….
And don*t get me started on all those “J chick hunting & fucking guys” … that’s another story per se.

So, I kinda get where it’s coming from.
However, there are a lot of “normal” foreigners out there, too! Those who actually sleep at night (or at least are quiet), separate their garbage properly, pay their bills on time, cause no trouble at all.

And last but not least, don’t think that all Japanese people are nice, polite and have common sense!!!
I could tell you stories ….!!
There are many black sheep among them as well. Some of them do party, are just freaking loud, don’t care about the garbage ETC.

Of course, Japanese people will get angry at those people as well, but it’s a whole different story if it was a foreigner who did it!
Fresh oil for the fire, I’d say! They go berserk! Just like expected – and there their rant has started again.

A FEW LAST NOTES:

THE TITLE:
Maybe you’ve been wondering about the title of this blog series already?
Why didn’t I just call it “Life as a Foreigner in Japan”.
Well, for the exact same reason I mentioned earlier. Yes, I am a foreigner, but I’m NOT American, my native language is NOT English and I don’t want to be thrown in the same pot as all foreigners. I can’t change that, though, because Japanese people will just throw me in there no matter what, but I can change the title of my own blog posts, so there you go! (^-^)
I am German and ever since moving to Japan I’m actually proud to be one – .. at least most of the time! (^-^’)

To be honest, the second Japanese people hear I’m German, their attitude usually changes and they’re really happy and warm towards me.
MOST Japanese people really like Germany – of course that has to do with the world wars, too, but not only.
Japan has copied many things from Germany after the war and even nowadays a deep friendship and political relations connect the two countries.
Only the ones who hoped to be able to practice their English on me are sometimes disappointed!

GENERALIZATION:
Now, when I’m always saying “Japanese people” this and that, I might not be better than them saying “the foreigners“, so I have to admit that there are quite a few exceptions to the rule as well and I’ve met some of them and will write about them in the future.
To make things easier, though, I will keep writing “Japanese people” in future posts.

I mainly posted about the negative things of being a foreigner in Japan today.
Of course there are some positive things as well. You often can play the “gaijin card” to your advantage in many situations when Japanese people wished they could do it as well!
I will write about that in the future, too! Stay tuned!

Woah, okay this was a VERY long post.
Thank you for reading through it all. This was supposed to be a general introduction to the topic out of my personal view.
I will write more in detail about certain points in the future, but especially share funny, annoying, strange encounters and conversations I had in the past few years. I hope they will be interesting & amusing for you.

Feel free to discuss and share your opinion or experience!!
I’m totally looking forward to hearing what you have to say!

The post A German Alien in Japan – Introduction appeared first on Zooming Japan.