In previous posts people complained and said what I’m writing is not true or even disrespectful.
I want to mention once again that everything I write is based on my personal experience. I’m well aware that it’s not true for everyone.
Don’t take granted that Japan is exactly the way I describe it in my “A German Alien in Japan” series.
It’s Japan how I see it though my eyes.
I know that I can be too sarcastic at times. Please take everything I write with a grain of salt. Or better a cup of salt. Or sugar, if that suits you better. 
Today’s post won’t be any different, so better get ready …. or run for it NOW!~
I’ve already explained why I think that it’s usually harder for Western women to find a Japanese man than it is for Western guys to find a Japanese woman. Although there are exceptions, of course.
Today I want to list a few more possible reasons why Western women might not stand a chance against Japanese women.
Some of the things I’ll mention might even be true for Western men, so you guys, keep on reading as well! .gif)
The Hassle of Living in The Land of Lilliput
As a foreigner in Japan, especially coming from a Western country, you might run into several problems.
One of them might be very surprising. At least I didn’t expect it when I moved here!
Am I Bigfoot or are Japanese shoes just too small?
So, I don’t like buying shoes. I’m not fond of owning a lot of shoes.
But since I moved to Japan I’ve NEVER bought any shoes (apart from slippers).
Why is that, you ask?
MY FREAKING SHOE SIZE DOESN’T EXIST IN JAPAN!!
My Japanese shoe size is a “27“. That’s roughly a 42 in most European countries.
Yes, even for European standards I might have large feet, BUT at least I can manage to find shoes in my size back home.
However, it’s simply impossible here in Japan!
I can only buy slippers. Sport shoes are available in my size (men shoes), but they’re too wide.
I’m not really a Hello Kitty fan, but I was so happy when I found female slippers in my size (3L). It was such a rare discovery!
There are so many adorable shoes for girls here in Japan. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you!
I don’t own a single pair of high heels. No wonder I can’t compete with all the cute Japanese girls, when I’m the only one who can’t buy CUTE things!!!!
I’ve stopped looking at shoes completely. It’s simply too frustrating. .gif)
Previously in a shoe store:
Staff: “Oh, these are lovely, aren’t they?”
Me: “Yes, but I doubt you have them in my size.”
Staff: “I’m sure that’s not a problem. What’s your size?”
Me: “27…”
Staff: “Pardon?” (probably thought I don’t know the right shoe size in Japanese)
Me: “27!!”
Staff: “Oh, I’m sooo very sorry, but we don’t have that size …”
Me: “I just knew it.” .gif)
Another time I wanted to buy new slippers for work:
Staff: “May I help you?”
Me: “Yes, I’m looking for slippers in size 27.”
Staff: “Oh, I see. Are they for your boyfriend? ^__^”
Me: “No. They are for me…”
Staff: “Oh, I see. I’m sooo sorry. Please follow me. They’re over there.”
Me: 
The same goes for socks or tights and things like that.
I’ll always have to wait until I go back home to Germany to stock up again (which happens roughly every 2-2.5 years). No fun!
International Shoe Size Chart from Wikipedia (click to enlarge):
Most women shoes are available up to 24/25, so if you have smaller feet, you can buy all those cute shoes. Sometimes they go up to 26/26.5 cm, but that’s it.
People seriously gave me the advice to look in a “drag queen shop” for lady shoes in my size.
For men most shoes go up to 28, sometimes 30, so if you have larger feet, you’ll run into similar problems as me.
As you can see, most Japanese guys have smaller feet than me! (T______T) ….
Buying clothes can be tough, too:
I’m not short, but I’m also not very tall. I’m about 172 cm (5 ft 8 in). That’s taller than the average Japanese woman (158 cm / 5 ft 2 in), though.
As I’m slim, I don’t have any issues squeezing myself into Japanese clothes, but most of the time they’re too short!
Trousers, leggings and long sleeve shirts are always an issue. However, skirts and tops without long sleeves are perfect.
Finding gloves where my long fingers fit in can also be a drama.
I’m not entirely sure, but I think it’s quite difficult to find clothes if you’re overweight. As most of you know there aren’t many “fat people” in Japan and what is available in shops is for the “average Japanese” with small feet, short legs and petite fingers plus a super slim body shape.
Same goes for Japanese men (average height: 170 cm / 5 ft 7 in).
If you’re a tall Western guy – no matter if you’re slim or fat, you’ll struggle to find clothes that fit.
It’s certainly going to be easier in big cities such as Osaka and Tokyo, but if you live in the countryside like me, you better stock up back home.
The good news is that for accessories size doesn’t matter.
Also, Japanese kids and teenagers are getting taller and taller recently. Some of my junior high students (even the girls) are already taller than I am.
I think in the near future the size of shoes and clothes will change accordingly.
I can’t fit into half of the clothes as they’re too short and my shoe size doesn’t even exist, so many of the adorable things available just have to stay in the store – or a cute Japanese girl will buy them instead.
Round 1: Me (0) – Japanese girls (2)
Why Being A Doll Is The Way To Go: About Make-Up and Shrill Voices
I see a lot of girls every day who are wearing tons of make-up. I’m sure they spent hours in front of the mirror.
Layers of make-up, false eyelashes and whatnot. They’re trying to look like cute little dolls.
And what is worse, some of them even try to speak like dolls!
I suppose if you’ve been to Japan you might have heard them on the train. They change their voice on purpose to sound super cute (and annoying), but apparently some Japanese guys seem to like it.
I’ve seen a lot of Japanese girls wearing heels when they went hiking. Some even tried to climb Mt. Fuji wearing those kind of shoes. WHAT THE …??!!
I kind of understand that some want to look like cute, innocent dolls, but it’s all so fake!
And I remember reading an article where a foreign guy wrote about his experience with Japanese girls and how they slammed the bathroom door in the morning when he tried to enter because she hasn’t “put on her mask” (a.k.a. tons of make-up) yet. He even wrote that he was sure he took a different person back home the night before.
Shocking!
I’m all for dressing up cute at times, but I hate people who are fake.
If that’s what I have to do in order to get a (Japanese) guy, then I’m out!
Round 2: Me (0) – Japanese girls (1)
Japan’s Ideal of Female Beauty
Of course the ideal of beauty differs from culture to culture and what is considered pretty in Western countries might not be true in Japan.
The classical Japanese beauty still seems to be the most popular: long black hair with a porcelain white skin.
When I first came to Japan I was really shocked to see that almost everybody was avoiding the sun, especially the women. They were all wearing hats, long gloves and had parasols. Sunblocks are super strong. And to top it all, there is “whitening cream“.
I got the shock of my life when I bought my first facial cream in Japan. I just grabbed a cream that looked alright without taking a second look. After using it, my face turned white. I looked like a clown!!! A lot of Japanese women try everything to keep their skin as pale as possible.
In most Western countries the ideal of beauty nowadays is that a nice tan is the way to go. If you’re too pale it either means that you’re a couch potato or you’re sick.
In Germany we try to get out as soon as summer comes to get a tan, comparing who got darker afterwards. Here in Japan, they probably compare who’s whiter instead.
This is another thing where I’m not playing along. I don’t want to be too pale.
The sun in Japan is very aggressive and you have to be careful. I’m also using sunblock and cover my arms with long gloves if I’m out in the sun for too long, but not because I want to stay pale.
With that ideal of beauty it can be very difficult for you to find make-up in Japan. All the foundations and powders are too pale for my skin tone. If you’re naturally a bit darker, it might be challenging to find good make-up here.
Round 3: Me (0) – Japanese girls (1)
You’ve Gotta Be Stupid, Girl:
What I find even more stupefying is the fact that apparently some Japanese men WANT a “baka onna” – a stupid woman.
A lot of Japanese men seem to be horrified by the thought of a woman being smarter than them.
There’s a really interesting article on Tofugu about that, so go ahead and read it.
Young women dressed up as maids in Akihabara. Cute, innocent and obedient.
And sadly I’ve experienced that as well.
Japanese people often freak out when they find out that I’m (more or less) fluent in English, German and Japanese.
I get comments like “Wow! Sugoi! You’re a genius!”.
At that point I usually decide not to mention that I also learned French, Latin and Spanish (though I’ve forgotten most of it now).
Where I’m from it’s not such a big deal if somebody can speak two foreign languages or more.
While Japanese people are really impressed by it, I’ve noticed that some Japanese men seemed to be a bit intimidated.
At least they’ve reacted in a way I’ve never seen a Western guy react to it.
However, I will not pretend to be stupid. Well, maybe I am – and all is good, but I’m certainly not doing it on purpose …. unless I’m trying to be funny like in front of my little monsters (a.k.a. my students). And to cite them: “Oh, My Gaga!”
Apparently this also has to do with the fact that a lot of Japanese men want their wives to stay at home, taking care of the kids and the housework, cooking delicious meals and all that. If a woman is “too smart”, they might not want to give up their career. At least that could be one thing Japanese guys are afraid of.
Luckily not every guy’s taste is the same, so no need to freak out. .gif)
Round 4: Me (1) – Japanese girls (0)
Result: Me (1) – Japanese girls (4) (I so don’t care!)
Conclusion:
Being a foreigner in Japan certainly has its good and its bad sides.
I’ve mentioned some of the possibly inconvenient points today.
However, a lot of Japanese would love to look like a (Western) foreigner. They want to have longer noses (why, oh, why?), want to be taller, want to have a different hair or eye color.
As a foreigner you do stick out, because your looks are different. Often you are much taller than the average Japanese which will attract a lot of attention. People will stare at you, you might even be treated like a superstar.
They’ll squeal and tell you how cute, pretty or handsome you are. You’ll certainly get to hear nice compliments much more often than back home – and I bet that makes us all feel good, doesn’t it?
On the other side, it can be difficult if you live in Japan for a long time. Like I said you might struggle to find clothes, shoes … – or for the girls the make-up you need. And because you look different, you might be treated like an outsider – even if you were born in Japan!
What is your experience with this?
Do you have issues finding clothes or shoes in your size in Japan?
If so, where do you get your stuff from?
Have you met the type of “doll girl” I described? What do you think about them?
And what about the “Baka Onna Theory“?
Hi there!
I am from Vietnam and currently living in Japan (countryside lol)
Thank god because I am Asian and my shoe size is 22.5 and I am pretty small so I have no trouble with clothes in Japan loll
I enjoyed your writing a lot as it reminded me how shocked I was when I first came to Japan and heard the high toned voice as well as saw the tons of make up face loll
Well I am working on my graduation thesis concerning gender stereotype in Japan, so I am just curious but do you think guys (in general meaning Asian, Westerns,..) would prefer Japanese women than Western women because of those stereotypes?
Hi Thao!
Oh, you’re so lucky with that shoe size. I’m envious! ^__^;
Wow, sounds like super interesting graduation thesis. I’d love to do something like that do, but thank GOD I’ve graduated a long time ago. *g*
That’s a great question. I hope some people will be so kind to reply.
Personally, I fear that a lot of men believe in those stereotypes. I know enough guy with “yellow fever” who only know Japanese women from tales or TV shows where those stereotypes are confirmed. I’m not sure if men who actually dated Japanese women would still all agree to those stereotypes.
I had a friend who went in a big stores in tokyo for the first time, to try a tank top. So she was heading to the changing room and the girl from the store stopped her and said something in japanese, but she couldn’t try it.
Second time is when she was in a store, and wanted to try a pullover but this time, She asked first (because of the first experience) and asked if she could try it. And she said “dekinai”, didn’t understand the reason either.
And, I just found out that,
Some things are allowed to be tried on, some things are not allowed to be tried on at certain stores. For example, you can try on shoes but you can’t try on socks. You can try some pants but not all pants, nor would you want to try on underwear. Some stores allow Jackets etc okay, but limit people to wear anything that is tight pullover (eg makeup can get smeared off or hair gel etc onto the frabric of the shirt). Other stores provide “face covers” to allow someone to put on a shirt/sweater etc without the makeup smearing on the item.
There are some things you are not allowed to try in my home country, either. So I never was surprised about that in Japan.
However, some stores want you to take off your shoes before entering the changing room.
I like the fact that they have these “face covers” in some department stores to prevent make-up stains on new clothes. :D
You write quite well, providing a fun read! I laughed so much when I read the conversation in the shoe store!XD
Airton, glad you enjoyed it! ^___^
When you talk about pale skin I partially understand why Japanese women keep out of the sun. I noticed that Japanese age a lot more gracefully than a lot of other ethnic cultures of women. UV rays from the sun and tanning bed can damage your skin and accelerate the aging process.
As a man myself, I wouldn’t want women that acts that dumb, but I do understand why they play down their IQs quite a bit. Most American men that want a traditional relationship with gender roles find it almost impossible to do with most American women they encounter because of the way the western culture tends to be and the fact that USA women have equal job rights, more women are in college and USA women are mostly taught by USA society and the media that men are dumb and useless.
You also brought up another point, Japanese women tend to be in better physical shape than a lot of American women. If most American men had to chose between a women that cared about her physically appearance(even if she didn’t care she’d still keep in shape to always make her man happy) or a lot of American women that feel it’s OK to be large and in charge then most American men I personally know including myself would take the Japanese woman any day over the American woman.
You also mentioned how Japanese women wear heels, dresses, actually use make up and wear nylons and tights. Most American women that I personally encounter(and I have most men I personally know tell me the same thing) hate and/or refuse to do those simple things(I’d say nylons and tights are number one on that list). I remember growing up as a kid in the 70’s up till I was a young adult by the early 90’s women acted like they had no problem doing those things and these days voice how much they hate that stuff(this is most American women I personally encounter). I partially blame men for not voice they like a women that dressed up in that fashion.
From what I hear Japanese men will not date women that are strictly jeans and tee shirts, I use that same concept before ever dating a woman. What I do is trick a woman into giving that answer without actually asking them if they do and tell them they’re being tested. Here’s the trick, when a woman tells me they just went clothes shopping that’s the perfect time to spring that test in them. I ask them what they got and most American women love to run their mouths about clothing they get(that’s the beauty of this test) and then what I do is ask them in a non-interrogating way what they’d never wear or they hate to wear. Here’s what usually comes up on that list that I personally hear from then 1) dresses, 2) skirts, 3) heels, 4) dress shoes of any form, 5) sexy lingerie of any kind, 6) tights, 7) stocking, 8) of course the number one answer pantyhose.
I’m not saying I always hears these things come up, but I’d dare to say I’m lucky if 2 out of 100 women doesn’t say these things and if they do wear any of these things they say how much they hate it or only would do it for a job or something like that. When they answer those things I say to the lady in a polite way “thank you for your answer, but now I will not date you” and they ask why and I say “it doesn’t matter because it doesn’t change the fact” and they then ask “do you really like those things” and I say “I like seeing women wear them occasionally because a strict jeans and tees shirt woman is a dine a dozen for me, it’s like seeing the same woman all the time and boring” and they them try to say “I’d do that for the right man” and I say “I believe that’s the wrong answer because the first answer I believe is always the correct answer. If you hate and/or refuse to do something that simple that you had no problem doing before the early 90’s what happens when something more complex comes up? Are you going to hate and/or refuse to do that as well? I’m not a gambling man, that’s why I tested you like that” and then leave without an argument and say “you’re right”.
Japanese men are a lot less likely to encounter this that American men do and a lot of American men are so hard up for sex they’ll take women well below what they’d like to see and not use their right to say “NO” to a women and say “I’m not dating you because you dress horrible” This is how a lot of American men feel, but are too afraid to voice in fear of rejection and ridicule, Japanese men are lucky and have enough women that stay in great physical shape, cater to their men and dress their best that they don’t have to go through this.
I’m not saying all American women are like this and I’m not saying all American men feel this way, but the vast majority of American men and women I personally have encountered this is the way they are.
I agree with you entirely! I was in Japan for the first time recently and I got horrified and shocked about some things!
Mostly I love Japan : everybody is very polite and kind to you, the streets are clean, everything seems to work perfectly and I love the feeling of calmness I get there since everybody is quiet and respectful. Well this is the impression I got while staying at the west south of Japan, it might be slightly different in other regions. However, on the second time I stayed there I realized some annoying things:
1) People working in customer service are 99’5% women, and most of them look like living dolls, this happens specially in clothes shops and information desks. All of them keep talking with such an annoying faked voice, like they are 5 years old… wait, not even little girls talk in such a stupid way. I told this to my japanese boyfriend and he says they only do it to attract more people and increase the sales but that’s shocking because the way they make me feel is that I want to run away from them and forget about buying anything! It seems they all put so much effort in looking good, but in an obsessive way. The way they act it’s also as if they had been rehearsing for it all day, the gestures they make, very unnnatural and robotic. This doesen’t only apply to people working on customer service, some women behave like that all the time.
I don’t understand why women need to behave like this, in order to attract customers or men, as if they were dolls or little children, isn’t that scary? In Europe if you behaved like that people would think something is not working properly on your brain, or that you’re extremely shallow, but it seems to be normal in Japan… why? probably I’ll never know it for sure but It can be linked to the idea of how women should be in Japan, there isn’t just a beauty ideal, there is also a behaviour ideal too, which is women should be innocent and submisive.
I think women should be themselves and not behave in a certain way to be accepted by society or men. If a men truly loves you he’ll love you by who you really are, if he loves you because you behave like something else, he doesen’t really love you, just the fake doll you’re trying to be, and isn’t that sad?
2) I don’t have a problem finding clothes that fit me in Japan but shoes are another thing.. Well my shoesize is quite common in Europe, but in Japan I can only find shoes at the “large shoes section” which is ridiculously limited comparing to the rest… I’m a 25 and a half in Japan, size 40 in Europe. Because of this and because I behave like myself and not and annoying doll woman, I started developing some kind of complex in Japan.. am I some kind of alien with huge feet?
3) Sometimes people stare at you just because you’re a foreigner, it’s like they haven’t seen a non japanese person in their whole life! Also some of them can’t understand why a japanese man would be with a foreign woman, so they talk to my boyfriend asuming he’s a foreigner too!
Sometimes funny but sometimes really annoying.. Japan can be very challenging for a foreign woman, so if you’re going there get seriusly ready! :chu: :chu:
Hi Amaiaiama!~
Thanks so much for sharing your experience with us. It’s so interesting to see that many people have a different impression after a second or a longer stay in Japan.
A lot of things here in Japan are seen as normal while in other countries it would be considered “strange”. Or could you imagine a male high school student with pink Hello Kitty phone straps? ;)
I think it greatly depends on the location, though. Here in the Japanese countryside you see a lot of women who are dressed and behave “normally”.
I do think that for many young women nowadays it’s difficult to find a partner and I guess they’re just trying to be the most exceptional, the cutest or whatever to stand out a bit and increasing their chances?
Japan is heaven for some when it comes to clothing, I’m 182 cms long with 38-39(eu) feet, 71kgs weight. I have always had difficulty finding male shoes all through my life (i was already 1.80 when i was 13 years old :S) and same goes for clothes, my waist is thin while my chest is not…Anyway thanks to new generations getting taller now trousers aren’t any problem too. Besides whatever i wear i feel looking even more fit than i am :S. Korean and Japanese brands started to enter Istanbul market but they are nowhere near like they are in Tokyo or Seoul -.-.
Also about Baka Onna theory, Japanese men doesn’t actually like stupid women, they like stupid wives, distinction there, is actually quite important.
For people who are very short or have tiny feet, I think Japan is great.
If you’re already struggling in your home country where everything is too short or too tiny, then you’ll struggle in Japan.
It’s true that teenagers are growing taller and taller recently. I have some jr. high school kids in my class who’re already as tall as I am.
But it’ll still take a while until the fashion will catch up with this trend, I fear.
:hihi: Hi! I’m going to be staying in Tokyo for a bit this coming winter, it’s my first time visiting so I was wondering if you could give me some advice? :happy: :happy: I’m 5’8″, like you, but I’m stick skinny, we’re talking size 0 skinny, I’ve always been interested in Japanese fashion, so I wanted to do some shopping (major shopping) but I’ve heard that clothes are frequently too small and incredibly expensive, may I have some pointers on places to shop (like, shops that aren’t too expensive and shops that cater to the taller 34″ leg crowd? :stressed: ) , if you know of any in Tokyo? :3 I actually have tiny feet, so shoes won’t be a problem, mainly clothes. Also, I totally agree with you on the high-pitched voices, it’s cute but damn, it gets really annoying
Rain, there are actually quite a few stores in Tokyo where you shouldn’t have any problem finding clothes. I’m not sure about the trousers (maybe Uniqlo), but skirts and tops shouldn’t be an issue. Cheaper clothes – also some really cute and … “unique” things can be found in Shibuya and Harajuku which is where most of the younger people in Japan go shopping.
Try to avoid “The Ginza” as there are many expensive shops.
Ikebukuro is also worth checking out, but for fashion Harajuku and Shibuya are definitely better.
As I don’t live in Tokyo and only go there sometimes for shopping I’m not an expert, so I hope some of the many girls who live in Tokyo will jump in and give you a few more suggestions.
Have fun shopping! ^___^
Thanks zoomingjapan
I am traveling to Japan and Asia in the spring with a friend and she was curious about some of the cosmetics in JP. This article really help with her research; so thank you.
I empathize with anyone not finding clothes or shoes that fit. I am 2.08m and my girlfriend is 1.83, i don’t think we will be doing much shopping in General. Do you have any insight into the clothes sizes in Korea, I’ve heard they have larger sizes? Although, not planning on shopping on our trip, just nice to be able to pick things up if needed.
You’ll be able to do some shopping, just maybe no clothes or shoes.
But there are so many other great things that can be nice souvenirs. ;)
And Japanese cosmetics are awesome. I shall write a post about some of the most popular Japanese beauty products in the near future. I’m sure your friend would appreciate that, too.
Sorry, I’m not familiar with clothes and shoes in Korea at all. :(
Yep… try being a Japanese-Canadian male (visiting Japan) trying to find size 12 shoes (from what I hear, Japanese shoe stores don’t even stock any sizes for men above size 10) – Yeah, I got big feet, eh? – Think Sasquatch.
Thank goodness I’m a North American-born Japanese living in Canada. I’d be going insane trying to find shoes in Japan.
Yeah, shoes are certainly one of the biggest problems in Japan.
Sorry to hear you’re struggling as well, but as long as you keep living outside of Japan, you won’t have any issues. ;)
It’s not just western men who find it easy to get girls it’s all men who find it easy to get japanese women into bed…I get you on the shoes and clothes…one thing annoying me is that my landlord has no sense of privacy..Dude am renting your apartment I don’t want you coming to knock at my doll at 6pm (please note that am completely quiet and not disturbing anyone am literrally reading at this time) another thing I don’t want to be offered gifts continuously, I don’t want you in my space, everytime you see me walking by (from or to where ever am going/coming from does not give you the right to think its story time-stories that last forever). Personally I say japanese people need to be taught universal etiquette that is accepted by the rest of the globe: leave me alone mind your business…one year left and am out!!!! Can’t wait argh. Stop expecting gifts and stop offering me gifts!!!!! So annoying…it’s like that mosquito you can’t get rid off jeez
hey! I really enjoyed reading this because I think different heights and what they complicate or ease in different matters and places if interesting and kinda funny. I’m curious; for someone who is sort of curvy and weighs around 57-59 kg, is it hard to find clothes in Japan? Where I’m from; Sweden; has the second highest average height (after the Dutch) in the world and that’s about 170 cm for girls and 185 for guys. I’m 158 cm tall and though I’m young I’m full grown and several people ask me if I really am.
so; summing up; 58 kg heavy, 158 cm tall; do I stand a chance in Japanese clothing? Japan has so much original, vintage-looking, oldfashioned, futuristic, fantasy & anime looking clothes on websites but I don’t know what sizes are good. Give me some tips on where to buy things like this online?
//In need of advice
*sratches head*
Are you male or female?
I’d say you sound like a normal Japanese female to me. Ok, to be fair, most Japanese with your size will be about 10kg lighter, but most Japanese clothes (especially tops) aren’t tight at all. It’s not the fashion over here to show your figure, so most tops are fluffy and even if you’re not super slim, you’ll fit in.
My biggest problem is that the sleeves are too short, but if you’re 158cm, you shouldn’t have a problem at all.
Buying online? Hm.
I never buy clothes online myself as I need to try them on first, but have you tried Rakuten Japan?
Netherlands has a male average height of 181cm. Dunno where you got 185cm. As for the size, you’re average in Japan height-wise, and average weight-wise. In other words: you’re dead average.
I’m Japanese and I’m in no way average. No clothes for me (177cm, 50kg).
5′ 8″ is tall for even a western female. the average German female is listed as 5’6′ for younger women, lower for older.USA is 5’5″.
i have a high IQ and one of my favorite GFs was much higher. keeping up with her was hard and fun. intelligent women are more fun to be with.
I guess it wouldn’t be hard for me to find clothes in Japan as long as I stick with shorts and skirts. I’m also 5’8″, but I’m thin like you and my shoes are size 6.5 US (24 Japan) (I know, I have uncommonly small feet for my height). But the one thing I couldn’t deal with is guys expecting me to act stupid. I’m sorry, but although I’m not ambitious or career-oriented, I’m extremely cerebral and couldn’t pretend to be a dum-dum for anyone. I’d sooner beat a dude with the spine of a hardcover book…
I bet I would make a good wife for a Japanese academic. He could discuss his work with me as an equal, and I would happily stay at home and cook. I do so love to cook. :-)
The only problem would be finding a tall enough Japanese man. I do need my partners to be at least 3 inches taller than me so that I can wear heels without towering over them.
Lucky you!
You can buy all the cute shoes out there then! ;)
I hear you. I wouldn’t want to pretend I’m someone I’m not. So, acting uberly cute or stupid is also out of the question.
Japanese people are getting taller recently. Some of my junior high school students were already taller than me (even some girls), so maybe there’s hope? ;)
I’ve heard about the issue regarding Western women in Japan not doing as well.
I think in Western countries women tend to be pickier and for Western more handsome or successful men, a lot of them will play around and date multiple girls and/or have multiple girlfriends.
I think those two go hand in hand as well as the more handsome men get a lot of girls after them. I have a friend who will get girls walk up to him and asking to go back to his place that he has literally just met while walking along the street on the way to going clubbing. This is in UK but I’m sure US is just as vain.
Japan has a different dynamic. I think Japanese women are just as promiscuous as Japanese men and Japanese men are not as much players (re: slutty) as many Western men. Also Japan has a different standard for beauty than the West which I think is more about attitude and personality than Western countries.
Japan is a very cultured country and it seems crazy but that’s because culture and personality is very important there.
I think Western women just get pampered in Western countries. Even the fat or ugly ones can still bang a ‘hottie’ from online dating or phone app dating or clubbing and a lot of women will have unrealistic expectations of what kind of boyfriend they should have because they can easily ‘score’ a hot guy from a club or from a dating app but having a fling with a hot guy doesn’t mean you can have one as a serious boyfriend.
If a Western women is genuinely attractive she will do well in any country be it Japan or wherever. If she is just average looking and saying she can’t get dates or get attention I would say she means she can’t get attention from more handsome men and she is too shallow to lower her standards since she is used to attention from handsome men back home.
Hope you approve this comment, I think this blog needs a male perspective. Speaking as a Western man living in my own country with a Japanese girlfriend. As someone who was not born with the best looking features I have seen first hand how vain Western girls can be. I don’t do well with most white Western women, yet my Japanese girlfriend finds me very attractive. I was also able to get pretty girlfriends when I was living in Asia. From my experience it’s much harder in the dating scene as a less attractive man than it is for women.
Japan is the opposite of the West, I just find Japanese women to be much less shallow and arrogant about their requirements in a boyfriend.
Hello,
I certainly agree to a certain degree.
However, Japanese men – at least some of them – are “slutty”. It’s quite common that they frequent places such as host clubs or “soap lands” (is that what they’re called?) ALTHOUGH they’re married. And Japanese women know very well about this fact and keep quiet in order to keep the “harmony”. We all know that “harmony” is one of the most important values in Japanese culture.
I don’t know which one is true, but my personal impression isn’t that personality is valued that much.
Yes, a certain type of woman is prefered (acting cute, obedient, good at cooking etc.), but if looks aren’t that important why do so many Japanese woman care MUCH more about their appearance than most Western women? And why do they stop caring about their appearance once they have given up finding a man?
I read this and am saddened a bit. I’m American, planning on going to Japan for a couple of weeks with a friend or two, I’m a 6’2″ guy, wear a size 13 shoe. I was able to annoy friends in high school by using them as arm rests. The sizes in Japan is going to be there revenge on me.
I realize I used the wrong “there”, I’m reading and typing after midnight. That is my excuse.
If you’re only there for a few weeks, you don’t have to worry about it. ;)
True, although I was hoping to get at least a couple of things as souvenirs.
You will. Just maybe not shoes or certain types of clothes. ;)